Before diving into a relationship, find out if your prospective partner is actively using drugs or alcohol, or if they display addictive or compulsive patterns in other areas (e.g., gambling, work, sex, food or spending).
If you care about someone in active addiction, help them into treatment and hold off on turning a friendship into more until they’re grounded in their recovery.
When they were drinking and using, they may have grown used to doing whatever it took to cover up, excuse, or engage in their addictive behavior.
When it comes to an addiction disorder, deceit, manipulation, and friendships with fellow drinking or drugging buddies are too often the rule, rather than the exception.
Unexplained absences, a failure to return phone calls, showing up late, and explanations for behavior that don’t ring true are a just a few indications that things have gone amiss – and when something is amiss with a recovering addict or alcoholic, unfortunately there is very good reason to assume the worst.
All recovering addicts have certain triggers that could lead to relapse.
And if you do decide to date someone with a history of drug or alcohol use, there are a number of signs you must watch out for in order to make sure your new partner is living up to his or her promises of sobriety.When they finally manage to get past all of the chemical baggage that they had been carrying with them for so long, what you will find in most instances is that former addicts have just as many outstanding qualities as anyone else, and this can make them a joy to be around for family and friends alike. Is it wise to form a more intimate connection with an ex-addict or alcoholic, no matter how dramatically they appear to have turned their lives around?In looking at the experiences of others, what we can say is that many who have formed romantic partnerships with former substance abusers have come to regret that decision immensely, while others have been able to establish satisfying permanent relationships with those who have successfully put their past addictions behind them.In other words, there's often a lot for them to "unlearn" in recovery.In Twelve Step programs, and especially in Steps Four through Ten, PIRs learn how to develop healthy relationship skills.